I want nothing more than for them to be parents, I really want to do the honor of helping them become parents for the first time, but ultimately I just want them to have their baby, whether it’s with me or not.
Cherished Moments Born Out of Infertility
I (Cat, Co-Founder + Former Surrogate) wanted to share a story about something that truly touched my heart recently. First, for background, in 2012 I watched my sister struggle to conceive with her husband. Each month she would call and share the news that she wasn’t pregnant. I told her if she couldn’t become pregnant, I would carry her children for her, without a doubt. After many rounds of fertility treatments, she finally became pregnant. It was also during this time that my eyes were opened to the fact that she wasn’t the only one struggling with infertility. So many women cannot get or remain pregnant. My heart was broken at the thought of this injustice. I wanted to help, so I soon signed up to become a gestational surrogate through a local agency.
Breastfeeding Without Birthing - My Experience
Breastfeeding Without Birthing - Yep! It’s a thing - and I did it!
In honor of World Breastfeeding Week, I wanted to share my breastfeeding journey (don’t worry – this picture won’t be offensive anymore once I explain). After a grueling path of infertility, including 4 rounds of IVF in under a year, 4 miscarriages and then learning we’d need a gestational surrogate to carry my embryos if I wanted a genetic child, I was spent. Tired out and so mad at my body for all the ways I thought it had failed me (which it hadn’t but I digress).
Thankful Thursday - Taking A Time Out
Sharing That You've Decided to Become a Gestational Surrogate
How & when to share with others your decision to become a gestational surrogate:
Becoming a surrogate is one of the most selfless and generous acts a person can do in their lifetime. Having a solid support system is key to a successful surrogacy journey and is important to get established early in the process. So, when and how is the best way to let others know you’ve made this decision?
Building Relationships – Intended Parents & Gestational Surrogates
The key word from day 1 for both intended parents and the gestational surrogate is vulnerability. Yep, I know – that’s a scary word but hear me out. I often greet and welcome intended mothers into the most exclusive club of all time – a club we NEVER asked to be in. The “I need a gestational surrogate to carry my baby(ies) club.” Most often, we’ll chuckle about this but it really is the truth. In most cases the Intended Mothers have suffered tremendously trying to have a child. Infertility PTSD is a REAL thing. Then throw on top of that the fact that she can’t carry her own child (if it was ever to happen). I can instantly pull the exact moment out of my memory archives when I was told I’d need a surrogate. I’m transported back to the doctor’s office and can feel the chair beneath me, see exactly what I was wearing, the look in my husband’s eyes – all of it. It’s been over 4 years since that day and it still feels so real when it pops up. I remember feeling absolutely alienated when I received the news. I was full of so much shame and heartbreak. How in the hell can’t my body do what it’s made to do?!
Thankful Thursday - Unexpected Moments of Awe
Thankful Thursday – Unexpected Moments of Awe
Monday evening, sitting on the couch finally unwinding from a hellish few days with very sick twin 3 year-olds, feeling a bit lousy myself, a text popped up on my phone. Upon opening it, my breath completely left my body. Aunt Diane, my father’s youngest sister (youngest of 9 total!) had found a photo of my father at age 6 or 7 that she thought I’d enjoy. I knew it was my father, of course but I was literally staring at my son Reed’s face just a few short years from now. I was overcome with emotion, tears filled my eyes. I was completely in awe. His sweet expression so comforting to me.
Thankful Thursday - Awakening
My entire life, I’ve often felt like I don’t quite fit in. That folks don’t really “get” me – that I was always lingering on the edges trying to be just like everyone else, to be accepted. Weird, emotional, too serious at times and too silly at other times were things I’ve often heard about myself – especially as a child. Fast forward to trying to start a family with my husband, Wes, living on a US Naval Air Base at the time (where everyone knows everyone’s business) and of course I was again the one on the outside edges, not quite fitting in. Not only was I extremely infertile, I’d also need a gestational surrogate to carry my children – something that most people were completely unfamiliar with. As I’ve gotten older my armor has gotten stronger, I appear fearless to some, but deep down I still have an innate yearning to “fit-in” and here I was – THE most different than everyone around me in my entire life.
Thankful Thursday - National Infertility Awareness Week - Supporting the 1 in 8
This week is National Infertility Awareness Week. Did you know that 1 in 8 couples struggle to start a family? If you didn’t know the statistics were that high, it is because often the couples will hide behind their shame and disappointment and don’t share their experiences publicly. Some couples get so tired of having to tell their excited loved ones that they had another miscarriage or failed transfer that they stop sharing. They attend baby showers and birthday parties wanting to be happy for their friends and family but in reality, it just makes it harder. National Infertility week is all about building awareness about what is going on all around us and even in our own circles. If you haven’t experienced this struggle yourself you may not fully understand, but you don’t have to in order to make a difference- Sometimes being there is enough. By giving someone a safe space to be vulnerable, you are allowing them to open up and share their raw emotions in the safety of your friendship.
Thankful Thursday - The Twins Birthday -Our Greatest Gift
Thankful Thursday – The Greatest Gift
To most, 4 x 4 = 16 but in the Kennerly House 4/4/16 will always be the greatest day of our lives (and not just because Wes is a math nerd.) It’s hard to believe that today marks 3 years for Vivian Claire and Reed Robert’s arrival. Words cannot express the gratitude that radiates from Wes and myself each and every day to God and countless people that made our dreams come true after the hardest battle of our lives. Specifically, Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh and her relentless drive to be so amazing at what she does (only the very best Reproductive Endocrinologist in the world!) and Cat Dobbs, our former gestational surrogate and now my forever friend and business partner.